Hamlet: The Harry Potter Version
by death-by-tsuki
Summary: Follow Harry and Draco's secret relationship as everyone around them dies. Lies, betrayal...crazy people, it's all there! DMHP
1. Act I, scene i

Hamlet: A Harry Potter Version.

Storm: We've had our suspicions about Shakespeare from the start. In fact, it's not just us, some historians also believe that Shakespeare-

Tsuki: He liked his toast buttered on the other side if you know what I mean.

Storm: So erm……..

Tsuki: No cookies for you!

Storm: Awww…in return you must tell them about the story.

Tsuki **sweatdrop** fine. Hamlet is a story about a young prince and his VERY good friend Horatio. Ok….it's really not about Horatio but he is a good friend and he will be appearing a tad bit more often in our version. So Hamlet's father is murdered by his brother, who then marries the queen. Hamlet, (or Harry in this case) is visited by the ghost of his father who then tells him that his brother murdered him. Harry swears revenge and in the long run, pretty much everybody dies.

Storm: I'm sure you people have either read the play or have seen "The Simpsons" version but we are going over the summary just in case. We will be following the acts. Each scene will be about a chapter with some exceptions for the shorter or longer ones.

Who's who in this story:

Claudius: Voldemort.

Hamlet: Harry Potter (of course)

Polonius: Severus Snape.

Horatio: Draco Malfoy

Laertes: Ron Weasley

Rosencrantz: Sirius Black

Guildenstern: Remus Lupin

Osric: Colin Creevey

Marcellus: Seamus Finnigan

Bernardo: Dean Thomas

Fransisco: Hermione Granger

Reynaldo: Gregory Goyle

Two Clowns: Fred and George

Fortinbras: Blaise Zabini

Gertrude: Lily Potter

Ophelia: Ginny Weasley (stupid Ginny die bitch die!)

Ghost: James Potter.

Tsuki: Finally, let's get on with the story.

Disclaimer: We are poor to buy the rights to Harry Potter. If we did Draco and Harry would have been together a long time ago. We can't own Shakespeare as he has been dead for more than half a millenia and we can't afford to buy the rights to his play either.

Hamlet: Harry Potter Version

Before Hogwarts became a school of Witchcraft and Wizardry it was a castle of blood and deceit. This castle belonged to a king, a king who was murdered. But that's getting ahead of ourselves. Let's start from the beginning.

Act I, scene I

It was a dark and stormy night and people were sleeping. Except for the guards, of course, they were keeping watch. Dean Thomas shivered in the cold night air. He so didn't want to be here. Hermione had literally begged him to stay with her. She was afraid of some stupid ghost she apparently had seen the other night.

Dean whipped his head around as he heard approaching footsteps.

"Who's there?" he called, squinting in the dark.

"Identify yourself!" Hermione yelled, all her fear seemingly forgotten.

"Long live the king!" Dean replied stupidly, hoping it would be good enough for the other guard.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?" he replied in annoyance. Didn't she realize he was the only other guard on duty? Who else could it possibly be? "Go to bed, you freak. I'll keep up the watch."

"Humph. Fine. It's cold out here anyway." She pouted, giving him a faint shove and a death glare. "YOU can freeze your ass off out here for all I care."

"Well goodnight, and remember, I'm freezing my ass off for you." He said in a singsong voice. "Seamus isn't going to like that! By the way, if you see him and Draco, tell them to get THEIR butts over here and keep me company on this cold and lonely night." He grinned with mock sorrow.

Suddenly, footsteps echoed off the castle walls.

"I think that's them." Hermione replied, as the footsteps drew near.

"You guys are pathetic. If I was the enemy, you'd be dead by now." Came Draco's silky voice as he stepped out of the shadows with a shivering Seamus in his wake.

"Dean, let's share body heat!" Seamus whined, rushing over to his boyfriend and enveloping him in a bear hug. Dean rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation at his lover's antics.

"Have fun boys. I'll leave you all…alone." Hermione said with a knowing smile, turning on her heel to leave.

"You know very well they are beneath me, Granger." Draco called out, but the girl was already gone.

"What brings you two here?" Dean asked, rubbing Seamus' arms to keep him warm.

Seamus laughed. "Well, technically I'm here, but Draco's mind is somewhere else entirely."

"You guys are talking nonsense." The blonde snapped, sending them a death glare.

"See? See? I told you so." Seamus said smugly. "Hey, have you two seen the ghost Hermione keeps harping on about?"

Dean shook his head. "Nope."

"It's all in her head. She needs to grow a spine." Draco muttered. "We won't see it."

Dean let go of Seamus and tackled Draco, sending him to the ground. "Sit down and shut up. You need to hear the story." He paused, taking a deep breath as Seamus sat beside him. "Last night, around this time, Hermione saw what seemed to be a floating lantern coming her way. She got up to investigate and came face to face with the ghost of, and get this, Harry's father."

Seamus pointed. "Kind of like that one?" he asked, looking over Draco's shoulder.

The others whipped around, and found themselves facing the bane of Hermione's existence. The ghost of James Potter stood regarding them with apparent disdain. After a moments silence, Seamus screamed like a girl, clinging to Dean.

"Draco! You're the smart one, talk to it!"

"Yeah, talk to it! I don't wanna die!" Dean added, his eyes wide.

"Shut up. Neither do I." Draco snapped back. "But unlike you fools, I know ghosts can't harm the living."

"If you're so sure of that, then talk to it. You know they can't speak until spoken to." Seamus said, nodding in the direction of the ghost. "Ask it what it's doing here."

Draco stood up, brushing off his pants. With an air of annoyance, he turned to the ghost. "What the Hell are you doing here and why have you taken the appearance of our dead king?"

"Dude, don't piss it off!" Dean yelped at the angry look on the ghost's face.

The ghost shook its head and turned away.

"Don't you ignore me, you pathetic pile of ghostly essence!" Draco stomped, unused to being ignored.

The ghost shook its head once more and disappeared just as the cock crowed.

"You idiot!" Dean exclaimed. "It was about to speak and then you had to go and annoy it with your not so eloquent-"

"Me? Not eloquent?" Draco growled in a dangerous voice, his silver eyes narrowing. "It disappeared because the sun came up you uneducated slobs!"

"Hey! Keep that sexy tone of voice for Prince Harry!" Seamus said with a snicker.

Draco Malfoy's cheeks coloured with a very faint hue of pink. "I do NOT have that kind of relationship with his majesty!"

With that, Draco whirled around dramatically on his heels, his cloak billowing and stomped off angrily.

Seamus snickered. "I told you he liked him. I wonder if he's in a relationship with him yet."

It was not known at all in the kingdom, but Harry was as gay as they came. Many believed that he was with Ginny at the moment but it was all an act. Seamus and Dean considered themselves experts in such matters as this. As such, they had both examined the Prince thoroughly and through this research had found out which way he swung.

"Since that was just a joke on my part and really had nothing to do with Harry's and Draco's….erm FRIENDSHIP, we have to investigate," Seamus said with a mischievous grin.

His boyfriend mirrored that smile. "If they aren't, then they shall be in a couple week's time," he said with an evil chuckle. "Come, we must plan."

Dean got up and helped his boyfriend to his feet before they walked off chuckling madly.

There you people go. The first chapter of our story. The rest will probably be longer in case you were wondering. This is one of Shakespeare's longest plays so don't expect us to stop any time soon unless there is no interest.

On that note if you want to see Harry and Draco together, please review….actually you'll have to review or else the next chapter will be one word long.


	2. Act I, scene ii and iii

Hamlet: The Harry Potter Version

Tsuki: Yaaaay, reviews!

Storm: Only four? That sucks.

Tsuki: Hm…we could use a bit more. If there's not enough interest, there's no point in continuing.

Storm: I agree. munches on chips

Tsuki: Whatever. Without further ado, here's the second chapter.

Disclaimer: We are poor to buy the rights to Harry Potter. If we did Draco and Harry would have been together a long time ago. We can't own Shakespeare as he has been dead for more than half a millennia and we can't afford to buy the rights to his play either.

Act I, scene 2

In a throne room in the middle of the castle, a king sat with a triumphant smirk on his face and a boring monologue ready on his lips…

"Well, I see Hamlet hasn't gotten over his cough_**pathetic**_cough father's death." Said King Voldemort, a sneer on his face. "Though we must, sadly, move on. Therefore I have married the Queen to continue to keep the kingdom in balance. It is my duty, as his brother." He paused in his monologue, looking over at one of the other occupants of the room. "What's your problem Mr. Weasley?"

"I want to go back to France for school. Your coronation is over and I want to return. I wanna leave…now." One Ronald Weasley demanded, pouting.

"Have you your father's permission? What says he?" Voldemort asked.

"He pestered me until I allowed him to go, my lord." Snape spoke up, nodding to the king.

"Then you may go." Voldemort said with a dismissing gesture.

Ron bowed before exiting the room. As he left, the hunched figure of Harry entered, an aura of depression surrounding him. He was clad in all black.

"Ah, Harry…my son." Voldemort exclaimed, beckoning the black-haired teen forward.

Harry snorted under his breath, muttering, "In your dreams, lizard man. Not in this lifetime."

"Why is it that you're still so depressed, Harry?" Voldemort inquired as Harry approached the throne.

"Why is it that you're still such a prick?" Harry retorted, his depressing mood fueling his rage.

Voldemort twitched angrily, but he restrained himself. Harry was the prince, after all.

Lily Potter, the Queen, finally decided to speak up.

"Everyone dies, my son, so cast away your ill feelings." She said softly.

"Yeah that's true." Harry replied dejectedly.

"Then why are you still acting like such a child?" The Queen asked, tilting her head to the side.

"'Cause I feel like it. I am the prince." Harry sniffed.

"Goddammit Harry, you're acting like a mudblood! It shows how weak you are." Voldemort yelled, rising out of his chair. "Therefore, I'm not letting you go back to school."

Harry's emerald eyes narrowed.

"You can't stop me." He said coldly, his hands balled into fists. "Father." He added with an ironic hiss.

"Please, stay with us Hamlet. I don't want you to leave." Lily implored.

"Fine. But only for you, mother." Harry said resignedly, nodding to her.

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"Oh God, how could someone as terrible as my uncle replace someone as good as my father? It was too quick, and too incestuous." Harry raged when he was left alone, kicking one of the marbled walls in anger.

Harry's head whipped to the side as two of his friends entered. Draco, Dean and Seamus entered frantically.

"Hail to your lordship!" Draco called, bowing slightly.

"Hey Harry!" Seamus grinned, trapping Harry in a bear hug.

"Yo." Dean added.

"Hi Draco! I'm glad to see you well." Harry smiled, hugging his friend even though he was still caught by Seamus. "How are you?"

"The same, my lord." Draco replied, watching in amusement as Dean pried Seamus off of Harry.

"Stop calling me that! You're my friend and my equal." Harry chastised with a smile.

"My lord, I came to see your father's funeral." Draco said, smirking as Harry's eyes narrowed.

"I thought I told you to stop calling me that!" Harry yelled, poking the blonde teen. "And I thought it was to see my uncle's coronation, not my father."

"It happened pretty quickly I must admit," Draco replied. "I couldn't help but see both."

"Yeah I guess that's true since they used the leftover food from the funeral to serve the guests at the wedding," Harry sighed. "Draco I think I've seen my father."

"Where pray tell?" the blonde inquired.

"I see him in my mind's eye, Draco,"

"I think I saw him last night."

"Huh? Who?"

"Your father, you moron."

"What? Tell me about it! I command you!"

"I thought we were supposed to be equals, Harry!"

"Sorry," Harry shrugged sheepishly.

"Two nights ago, Granger saw a figure not unlike your father walking stately by her," Draco began. "Of course, I didn't believe her. So I went to go see for myself. I knew your father and it looked exactly like him."

"Where was this?" Harry asked eagerly.

"Up on the platform," Seamus interjected.

"Did you guys not talk to it?" the sable-haired teen inquired.

"I did but it didn't answer me," Draco huffed in remembered annoyance. "It left when the sun rose."

"Huh. That's weird," Harry said.

"You moron, the dead are afraid of the cock's crow and the sun rising," Draco snapped, then paused. "Do you think that I would lie to you?"

"Okay, okay. Are you guys guarding again tonight?" Harry asked.

"Yeah," everyone in the room replied in unison.

"Armed?"

"Yeah."

"From top to toe?"

"From head to foot."

"Did you see his face?"

"Yeah. He wore his visor up," Draco replied.

"Did he look angry?" Harry demanded.

"A countenance more in sorrow than in anger," he said.

"Pale or red?"

"Nope. He seemed pretty pale to me."

"And fixed his eyes upon you?"

"Yes Harry."

"…I wish that I had been there," Harry sighed.

"So do I….I .. I mean it would have amazed you." Draco replied with a slight flush.

"Yeah. Did it stay long?" Harry asked obliviously.

"It felt like it," the blonde replied.

"His beard was grizzled, no?" Harry asked.

"As I remember it graying and old," Draco replied.

"Draco…." Harry said warningly.

"Yes?" the blonde replied innocently.

"Never mind…I will go with you tonight."

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Act I, Scene 3

In a room somewhere in the kingdom…..a brother is giving advice to his blockhead of a sister that most of the time he pretends not to be related with.

"I'm leaving, Ginny," Ron said. "Can I ask you something?"

"What is it?" she asked in a superior tone of voice.

"Stay away from Harry," Ron said. "There's something odd about that guy."

"What do you mean?" Ginny asked. "I know that he's been a bit of a player in the past, but he said that he stopped for me."

"Isn't he wonderful?" she sighed.

"Dear stupid sister, he's just in it to keep the others off his back," Ron sighed. "Oops, I've rambled on a little too long. I have to leave. Here comes father."

Snape walked into the room, his cloak billowing as though it was alive. (maybe it is. You never know)

"What the hell are you still doing here, Ron?" Snape snapped. "You have me blessing, now go!"

"I'm leaving. I'm leaving," Ron sighed but didn't move from where he stood.

"Remember what I told you earlier. Think before you speak," Snape said. "If you make friends, don't let them manipulate you into doing stupid things. Don't fight. They might not know it, but we all know that anyone can kick your ass. Why Harry and Draco both showed you as well as all of the rest of us, last year. Oh and listen but don't talk. You appear more intelligent if you keep your mouth shut and God knows, you need all that you can get."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm leaving. Bye Ginny. Remember what I told you," Ron said as he finally stepped out of the room.

Snape turned to Ginny. "What did he say to you?"

"Oh he was just talking to me about Harry," Ginny sighed dreamily.

"Oh. Him," Snape said. "I've noticed that he has been talking to you lately. What is between you? Don't try to lie. You're pathetic at that despite all the training I have attempted to give you over the years."

"He has lately shown his affection to me," she said happily.

"How?" Snape demanded.

"He looked me in the eye and for once didn't look like he was about to vomit," she said.

"Do you believe his affection is true?" Snape asked.

"I don't know what to think, my lord," she replied.

"Just stay away from him. His actions are suspicious and he likes his toast buttered on the other side if you know what I mean," Snape replied. "And for the record, that doesn't mean that he likes the buttered side on the bottom either."

"Um…I shall obey my lord," she said slowly after much thought.

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Tsuki: There. We're done our second chapter.

Storm: We put the third act in there also, in case you people haven't noticed.

Tsuki: Yes. Now, we have some important business to discuss. We need more reviews.

Storm: Definitely, I totally agree. We feel so unloved and under appreciated….and it's all you people's fault!

Tsuki: Now, now. So…_**we'd like to have a total of 10 reviews for both chapters put together or we won't put up a new chapter.**_

Storm: Yeah, this book cost me money, you know.

Tsuki: Right. So PLEASE REVIEW!


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